Hello. Guessing it has been ages since I have last blogged. I am writing this post because I guess I really need to get some things out of my chest and I have been really feeling down and upset about some certain stuff lately. I am a firm believer that things happens for a reason and that we should not have any regrets in life.
Whenever the subject about feelings and love surfaces as a talk-about topic among my friends, I tend to stay out of it and just couldn't put around why feelings couldn't go away easily? Why are people crying and getting hurt over it for such a long time?
I guess I finally got a taste of it and realize how hard it actually is to let go of someone you really like. I am not gonna say it is love, because it is clearly is not. But I guess this is my first time actually really liking someone and then things went sour. I believe if we didn't have share the same mutual feelings towards each other, we would be best friends.
My friends blamed me that it was my fault because of how I responded to my feelings and how that person misinterpreted it. But honestly, I do not regret anything that I've done. If I could have turn back time, I would have still done the same thing. Not gonna lie, at times I do secretly blame myself because of where it lead to but I try not to let that get in my way.
One day, I will find someone who truly likes/loves me whatever for who I truly am. I believe beauty is only found skin deep and one day someone would see it. This has been going for a few weeks now but I am proud of myself that I have yet to shed a tear even though my heart has been shattered over again and again. I have to be strong. This is just the beginning to adulthood.
Besides the fact my heart is bleeding, I am also seating for my major exam on November 3rd. I am stressing out about it and I feel so sluggish and uncomfortable due to the fact I have stopped exercising and eating clean for weeks now. Plus graduation is weeks away, college applications and brochures are piling up by my night desk. I am still confused and unsure of what my future holds for me, but in God I trust.
It is about time to get your shit together Risny! Yes I really need to get things together before it heads for the worse. Oh and also, I will be reliving this blog again after my exams. So do stay tuned for outfit posts!
xx
youre finally back on blogger!
ReplyDeletehey stay strong okay, love? we don't see each other often anymore but please know you're still one of the closest people i have and believe me i have very few people i call 'close' in my life.
if you need to talk, you know where to find me.